Have you ever enjoyed ending any relationship? Of course not, what healthy person would?
No one likes telling anyone that their not that into them; romantically and platonically. Ending a relationship with anyone feels cold and gross. But it’s tiptoed around more often than not.
While the only dating part of my adult life was 6 months when I was 30 then about 12/15 months before I was married. The time was short but bittersweet and taught me more about relationships than I ever thought I could learn.
When I was 30 I knew I wanted to be in a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. I’m not a dating kind of girl, being in a relationship is more my speed. I didn’t last long in the single game because I have since married the man I dated then.
I obviously didn’t know I’d marry him when we took time apart. I actually thought the opposite. Thus I put myself on a fast track to get out of my comfort zone and go on a few online dates. In those moments I had to end things after one date, a few dates, et cetera.
You can read all about those moments in other blog posts. You may laugh at my thoughts on Tinder or find the Swifty mentions to be more real and home to commonalities women experience throughout any stage of your personal single life; all with the feelings that thread our hearts together.
Sometimes it’s easier to tell someone to hit the road after they’ve hurt you and sometimes it’s harder to let go after you’ve invested time or emotions with them. It’s difficult because that person is someone you believed was meant to be in your life but sadly those feelings weren’t returned. We call it timing and lace it together with words to make it seem as though it’s a fairy tale by saying “it wasn’t meant to be” …
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.
The only person that can answer that is you. You know when something isn’t right because of the way it feels. But know this, when someone really loves you, they’ll never leave you in the cold. There is no cold shoulder, silence, or any other form of avoidance. When someone loves you they call you … They’ll text, tweet, like, comment, drop by and see, send flowers, or even send smoke signals if they had to.
Love knows no boundaries in friendship and in romantic relationships.
If someone doesn’t treat you as though they’re human with a pulse that reacts to you with kindness, they’re simply not meant to be in your life. Why? Because you deserve better. You deserve something amazing but before you turn your beautiful face towards the future, you gotta tell them about it. Tell them why you’re letting them go and why it doesn’t feel good for you. If you don’t, they’ll never know that they mistreated you then they’ll treat others the same way they treated you. If you can’t save your own heart, save someone else the misfortune that heartache can haunt you with.
Tell them with love and kindness even if they don’t deserve it. It may feel like a bitter pill to swallow when you do it but in the future, you’ll never feel bad about being yourself and telling them the truth. The truth will set you free from them.
If you don’t tell them you run the risk of regretting it. You’ll let time pass too long and then it becomes irrelevant. It’s a wound you’ll never fully heal because the feelings will weigh on your heart when you think of them, see them, or whatever little reminder you get that they existed in your life.
The haunting will never go away.
As always, these are just my thoughts on the relationships I let go of and how I let go of them. I personally cannot let thing lie dormant. If there is something I want to say, I say it. If I don’t the words become suffocating. So if you are like me, it’s an easy fix … Light some sage, grab your holy water, and prep yourself to cleanse your heart of bad vibes.
I’m just not a fan of ghosts. Are you?
Photos: Anna May Photography
Sweater & Pencil Skirt: The Limited (RIP)
Heels: Nine West
