If your higher power brings you to it, you’ll get through it.
The last four months have been the most challenging with highs and new lows. I’m the most emotional that I’ve been but this is what growth is called. Growth rocks you because whatever situation you’re in, you have to get through it if you want a different life.
As much as I understand the emotions others go through, I rarely give myself the same allotment because I’m in my head thinking that I’m too strong to admit any need in the space that I was in. Allowing myself to upgrade my priorities to get Behcet’s into remission with the intention of staying there means I’ve had to let go of a lot; which is terrifying but as I said before on my blog, if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do things you’ve never done. I am pot committed to exquisitely enhancing my environment for this new healthy version of myself that acts upon my best interest instead of placing all of my time based on what others need.
How bizarre is it to type that knowing I’m 36 years old? It’s taken me this long to know my own worth and to realize I want to live a very long and contentment driven life.
A friend told me that when she saw me something was off, something was different about me and she loved it.
While I’m three months deep in alternative treatments, I’ll take any compliment you say that equates to me feeling like my illness is well hidden rather than the fatigued brain and body I experience within that makes me feel as though I must look as though I’m knocking on heavens door… I’d rather stay on earth to move a little more, change a lot more, and feel what healthy feels like. These may be dreams but to me they’re possible.
Photo: Anna May Photography