After years in a long-term relationship and now marriage, it’s easy to slip into a complacent routine that’s a little too comfortable with my husband. We’ve shared a toothbrush, the joys of hearing each other snore, the not so sexy moments of having Crohn’s Colitis and Lupus. We’ve even sometimes let texting slip away but recently brought them back to keep the daily convo going.
How’s your day?
Lunch plans?
And I’m feeling saucy, I’ll send him a photo that makes him excited to come home… it’s usually of food I’m prepping, my outfit of the day, or of his new bottle of bourbon… get your mind out of the gutter.
In all honesty, let’s face it, life and people can pull you in a million directions but if you take your eye off of the prize (your spouse) you’re going to lose them. So stop focusing on the things that don’t matter as much as your marriage.
Did you lose that loving feeling? Here are some tips on how to get it back.
Remember why you married them instead of why you shouldn’t have. Remind yourself of the good feelings you had before it got hard and complicated – for example when you experienced raising children, hectic jobs, housework, the division of labor, bills, et cetera.
Look past the surface of time on our leather shells. Everyone gets lines and growth over time, but if you love your spouse deep enough, and don’t point out their flaws, your vision will change and each new wrinkle or gray hair will become beautiful to you.
Stop talking so much… Communicate by restraining yourself from doing all the talking. Give your spouse the courtesy to share in the conversation. Listen well, and listen more than you talk.
If you think you know your spouse so well that you can complete their sentences… Don’t! Let them speak.
Make weekly date night a priority. Take turns asking each other out and planning your dates. Don’t let other things get in the way of your date night. *Thus the Monday night date night we’ll be having tonight.
Develop an attitude for gratitude. When your spouse makes the effort to do something nice for you, show your appreciation and acknowledge it. It is a wonderful feeling to know that you have been thought about warmly during the day, and it is also heartening to know your thoughts and actions have been appreciated.
Smile and laugh a lot. A sense of humor keeps a marriage fun.
Remember the three finger rule. If you are pointing at them all the time, be quick to remember that three fingers are pointing back at you. You have as many or more faults, so start by cleaning out your own closet before you begin working on theirs.
Be your spouse’s greatest and most trusted, loyal fan. *Cheerleading outfit stays on!
Learn to say I’m sorry, just don’t keep track of who says it the most. Say it early and ease tension.
Take turns enjoying and discovering each other’s individual interests; couples that play together, stay together.
Speaking of which; here’s our date night plans:
~ My guy’s been going to Orange Theory, hitting the park, and doing yoga so I’m going to try this new coconut massage oil froom WOO FOR PLAY to help him heal his bod.
~ Drawing him a bath with The Contents Co.’s Verve bath salts.
~ Making him Whole30 approved dinner.
*Yet to be made thus no photo. It will appear on my story later though!
~ Lastly, I’ll ask him kindly to read poetry to me whilst I lay my head on his shoulder.
Date night in for the win!