As I scrolled through the 17k photos on my phone I found the photographs of us taken by photographers when we celebrated our engagement, our wedding day, a sweet date night, and more. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a beautiful photo that captures our fleeting time on earth.
While all of those photographs were so fitting of all the things I wish for you on your birthday, none of them could compare to the thoughts I have about you when I watch you in our everyday life. The beautiful photographs capture our love so perfectly but that’s not a clear representation of our true grit.
“After the wedding stress, everything in life will calm down.” We said that throughout my infusions, doctor’s appointments, and hospital visits. I think we were both ready to get past that phase and onto the fun things that life has in-store for us. Even though we exchanged our vows that included “in sickness” in the midst of the health problems I faced, I remember the nagging thought in my mind that wouldn’t go away wondering if you’d still be with me if my illness didn’t go into remission.
I hoped and prayed that the pain in my stomach and the other debilitating symptoms that I faced would perish but that pipe dream has gone away with the reality of facing an incurable chronic disease.
When we went to the hospital the day after our wedding / the day before our honeymoon, I was full of gratitude and love to know that I wasn’t alone anymore. You were with me lifting my heart as the drugs that pumped through my body to help me heal.
Six months after our wedding we realized this wasn’t something that would be going away anytime soon, as this is still a battle we face and with our second anniversary approaching I must boast, we do this with grace.
On your birthday, I want to apologize for the moments that make our life together difficult for you. I’m sorry for the moments the pain I feel isn’t alleviated, I know it’s heartbreaking for you to watch. As a “fixer” for all things business and life problems, this is a situation where there isn’t anything you can do. There isn’t a prescription to purchase, a medical option to explore or any alternative therapy that we haven’t explored.
No ambition could match the one you have within you for you and everything you touch to succeed. Your passion to overcome the obstacles that life throws at us is a clear example of your devotion to me as my husband and best friend.
If I could make your birthday full of anything, it would have to be the things we cannot see, touch, or purchase. I hope it’s full of contentment, joy, balance, strength, and anything else that is serene; as these are the things you bring to me.
You accept and love all parts of me; the good, the bad and the ill.
You take time away from your professional life to be by my side when I need you.
You’re my partner in life and in business from now and until the end of time.
You’ve allowed my glitter into our home and your heart.
On the surface you’re successful, competitive, witty, and handsome; which the professional photographs can clearly display. But the qualities that lie below the surface are the things that no one else usually sees, on display as the places we’ve explored together; standing right next to me.
As my grandmother affectionately called our family, “La fleur de mon coeur.” I carry the tradition into my life as you are the flower of my heart and life. I love you more than I’ve ever known possible.
Happy birthday, husband!