What date marks the time limitation of whether you’re a newlywed or not? Do you ever stop learning something new from your spouse? What about the changes that happen in life and the ones you grow with? That makes them new in a different aspect perhaps but still considered new. If you look at it that way, it’s easy to observe and define that life is a journey every single day and that would make the people within them new as well, including yourself.
For example, I battle Crohn’s Colitis. Yes, I have both. Lucky me, right? Kind of. It’s brought me through some of the hardest times of my life and it’s been an influencer in those times. It influenced the life I’m able to live, the people I should spend my time around, and the things I consume; physically and mentally.
With the disease I’ve had the pleasure of spending a lot of time on my own and it helped me become an independent woman that doesn’t lean on anyone very often for anything.
This way of thinking makes having the side effects I have had recently pushed me out of this realm of thinking.
I’ve had weeks where it’s painful to walk and months of my hands hurting. However, this week I’ve had more difficulties using my hands. So much so that I’ve had to ask my husband to help me with more things than I ever thought I would.
From opening me eye cream to helping me put on my pants, he’s doing much more for me than having me in his life to have and to holding.
My health challenges push me past any realm of thinking that I feel comfortable with but the beauty of it is in our vows: “In sickness and in health.” Sadly the sickness part has been tested while we’re young and not when we’re elderly in our golden years but he doesn’t say a word. Even when I’m crying from frustration and apologizing to him to open the smallest jar that a child could open, he doesn’t say a word about the tasks I ask. If he says anything it’s him telling me to stop apologizing to him. How kind is that?
Our love isn’t perfect, no one’s love nor life is so we’re not an exception to this statistic. We’re two people who are taking what life throws at us and choosing to make the best of it even though he may be my caretaker before I’m ever his.
I’m hopeful that my health gets better but I can only rely on my faith and modern medicine for that. While I can rely on my marriage for love and support knowing that every day I get to wake up with him is a gift, no matter how hard that day is and no matter how difficult my disease gets. It’s never going to break me nor my marriage. If anything, it makes us and myself stronger.
All of this serves as a reminder, life might not be the way you thought it would be but if you’re open to it, you’ll see that the challenges you face exist to make you stronger and the boundaries you have to have on the things you consume are healthy. If you’re lucky you’ll find another soul that loves you through it all and if you don’t have it, go find it. I guarantee that you’ll find someone that will.
Having someone and holding them is surface in the hyper-sexualized world we live in. Thus it takes vulnerability to reveal who you are and allowing someone love you through the highs and lows of your state of being; in sickness and in health.
Whether we’re actual newlyweds or not, the new things that happen in our lives independently makes the life we share a new adventure every single day. Him helping me put out on my pants and blouse or opening my eye-cream this week doesn’t fit within the idea that I had in my mind for my 34 year old body and life.
However, I’m blessed to have someone to lean on and laugh with while facing our journey together with courage and gratitude. For the new experiences, challenges, and celebrations we’ll share with one another for the rest of time.