Painfully Beautiful

Have you ever had words that you need to say to someone but you don’t out of hesitation or fear?

It’s a toxic feeling because it begins to eat at you more as time goes on. It can take years to muster up the courage to say even a word.

But sometimes if you unleash your heart and mind from the field you keep it locked in, you can surprise yourself with how fast the words can form sentences that your lips aren’t able to utter.

Then there are also times where the person you are avoiding seeks you out. You can run but you really can’t hide. In this case you must be brave and say the words that are true in your heart.

Here is a message that I was finally able to release to a person that sought me out.

••••••••••

Thank you for the text and well wishes. I hope life and the friends you chose are treating you as you deserve to be treated as a human being, not a sales person. Life is short and our time should be spent with the people that make us feel happy to be alive on this planet sharing life with them. As time slips through our finders as passive as each breath we take, we have to make sure that the life we’re living is a real one with real friends that value us not on what we do for them but how we make them feel.

I feel incredibly hurt by so much from that time you knew me. I was used by many in that group and thrown off to the side when I made ethical standards for business that weren’t reflective of the other individuals. I chose to hold my head high and let the tears of pain roll down my cheeks. The memory of the salt on lips reminds me of a time I do not wish to relive ever again.

I lost a great deal of the innocence that I had when I allowed someone into my life and to watch them walk away and celebrate it broke me in ways that I’m still trying to mend.

I’m a positive person with a good heart but I learned some valuable lessons from all of that … I learned to guard my heart as if it were a treasure chest full of the rarest gems in all of the land.

Don’t forget that you’re worthy of loving friendships. You are not just money to give others banks and life.

Save a part of you for you.

When we’re spiritually bankrupt nothing can save us but our prayers and persistence. I wish you all of the best things in life. Forever and always.

You’re in my prayers as you are soul searching.

••••••••••••