In 2010, I posted this quote as a reminder that I could persevere from my first GI flare.
“Don’t let fear get the best of you. It will only hold you back from possibilities and greatness. You’ve got to kick fear to the side because the payoff is HUGE!” – Mariska Hargitay
I tried to think back to what I was afraid of and the only word that can describe it is everything.
I was afraid of not getting better, of losing my job from being ill, of not being able to complete the semester, of losing my mother, and so much more.
I was in bed for 6 weeks and I dropped weight at an extremely unhealthy rate. At first they couldn’t figure it out but after testing and prescription mania we found out that I had Ulcerative Colitis.
Ulcerative colitis is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that causes long-lasting inflammation and ulcers (sores) in your digestive tract. Ulcerative colitis affects the innermost lining of your large intestine (colon) and rectum. Symptoms usually develop over time, rather than suddenly.
Since this flare I had gone into remission until a life altering event caused an unmanageable flare in the fall of 2014, but this time it was a bit worse because I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Colitis.
Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes inflammation of the lining of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition. Inflammation caused by Crohn’s disease can involve different areas of the digestive tract in different people.
My white blood and red blood cells have been completely out of sync which is then home to a lowered immune system. * Yay, germs! *
But do you know what pushes me through it all?
That quote … And this one, which is my favorite quote of all time:
“A dream is in the mind of the believer and in the hands of the doer. You are not given a dream without being given the power to make it come true.” – Unknown
Let’s try it out.
Do a quick scan in your mind for a quote that has stayed with you. Write it down in a journal and remind yourself of it when you’re having a hard time.
* Pay attention to the way you feel after you read it. If you have to, read it to yourself, over and over again as a way to feel more at ease.
Slow your breathing down and focus on that one quote. By doing so, you’re pulling yourself out of any difficult moment and into a state of focused relaxation.
Remind yourself that you’re a survivor because you already are surviving; which means that half of the battle is already won.