The word “healthy” can be defined differently by everyone on earth with the basis around the actual definition; in good health. With it’s base “health” meaning the state of being free from illness and injury based on your physical and / or health.
With these definitions in mind, lets explore mental health with the impact of verbal bullying.
Words told to another person about them to them or to others is said to experience a form of verbal abuse. When we think of abuse our mind usually generates images of physical abuse not verbal because the wounds from verbal cannot be seen by anyone except the person it happened to in the form of a flashback to the moment the words were spoken.
Getting away from anyone can be difficult, especially if it’s your partner, spouse, family member, and sometimes in your circle of friends. The friends portion of that can be just as complex as a family member or spouse because unless someone is loyal and loves another person enough to defend them, it just won’t work.
I’ve learned even best friends won’t uphold that same belief and they’ve continued a relationship with the person that made me and several other women feel horrible about our bodies. But the drama of voicing that concern to defend us wasn’t a conversation she was willing to have.
Rather than split hairs over something that doesn’t deserve oxygen, I’ll cut to the point. I have photography shoots with Anna May Photography because I wanted to streamline the images I post to social and have on my blog. Images are a huge part of a company’s branding because the aesthetics of them is what will build recognition and recall from my targeted following.
I receive the most beautiful images from our photoshoots but everyone is their own worst critic and we tend to see the worst in ourselves instead of the best.
I type all of this with a bit of hesitation because there are a few pictures that I’m not crazy about. Not because they’re bad. But because of the body image wounds I received about my body from an old faux-friend.
This person was once a woman I respected and cheered for. But it all came to an end when there were countless women that we knew that started telling me how uncomfortable she made them because she would make body comments as a form of shame and a way to make everyone join her.
This person told me that I was “fat” on a semi-frequent basis, one time she actual pointed it out in person. Eventually I felt like I listened to her for approval and to be accepted by her so she’d stop saying mean things about my body.
However, the imprint she left on me impacts my mind to this day. I realize my stomach may swell sometimes because of disease; Crohn’s & Colitis.
For the record, I wear a size 2/4 and battle with severe weight loss because of my flare that kicked off in the Fall of 2014. My body is still trying to recover from the intense amount of stress my body went through and how the medications side effects impact me today.
The wound is there but it’s healing. The challenging part is accepting my body and not believe the words she said.
My body isn’t perfect but it’s mine and I love it. I almost never shared this image because of my stomach but it’s me … Flaws and all.
All of the above leads me to the challenge I’m posting:
Try going one day not judging your body. Instead of judging another woman, give her a compliment. Write a list of 10 things you love about you; mind, body, and spirit. The next time someone says anything to you that makes you feel bad about yourself, forgive them for being cruel, throw glitter by paying another woman a compliment, and write out another list for YOU. If we can’t build ourselves up, we may never be available to help build others.
Eventually, you’ll have it memorized and then you can take on the world … One compliment at a time.
• LOVE WINS •