Hey, humanity, hey!
It’s me again but I was hoping we could chat about another pressing issue facing girls today.
Becky with the good body pics and messages are starting to get out of hand.
My main purpose for writing you is because I have a little girl that looks up to me and as we both know, I must honor that and attempt to slay things that will hurt her.
I have unsubscribed and recycled all of the women’s magazines in my home because their covers and articles bring nothing but doubt to her confidence that she needs.
The suggested changes come in words that cut deeper than you may realize.
I must ask when will these come to an end? Is it when we’re “10 lbs smaller” all while “killing it at work”, “having a happier life”, “growing mermaid hair”, “getting a better booty”, “living a fairy tale”, “dating better”, and my least favorite; “a guide on one-night stands, how to have them and how to feel nothing” ? Are you serious?
What woman writes this garbage that’s geared towards other women? And how do you sleep at night?
I’m 33 and I still don’t like the consistent spoon feeding from the media that tells me that my life isn’t good enough because I’m not toned enough, hooking up with anyone (let alone strangers), and I’m not happy enough for their ten step guide.
I am toned enough for me, I’m in-love with my husband and insta-kids, I’m don’t have a perfect life but I’m as happier than most of the people I know because I choose it. I burst with “glitter” because when I don’t it takes me the a negative place and nobody’s time for that.
Sorry but I’m not sorry for having all the feels.
Feelings are healthy when they’re communicated between two open-minded individuals.
Becky with the good body, sweet girl. I’m 100% positive that if you and humanity had an open conversation about it, you’d learn how to help women by listening to their levels of discomfort because of the negative nature that your nearly naked pics can be taken as a negative addition to the rabbit hole of social media. Think of the reach you’d have then? You could impact more women if you were willing to cover-up and show less of your body while using soft verbiage that isn’t attacking their minds.
It could be one of the most easiest ways to transfer the negative images to the positive improvements that could be a positive body image for ALL women.
Has anyone else noticed that the beauty and perfection that’s portrayed is completely unattainable?
No one looks perfect 24/7 which is a hard contrast from the media we’re exposed to.
The flawless make-up, the perfect amount of gym sweat, and super sexy yoga clothes doesn’t make us feel beautiful. It does the opposite. It breeds insecurity for us by the number of likes, shares, comments, follows, and DM’s; which either tell us we’re amazing or they tell us that we’re not good enough.
This goes for diet food posts as well. Food and diet varies from each person for their body and physiology. It’s impossible to put several people on the exact same diet at one time. So don’t feel bad if you can’t do a diet guide written by anyone other than your doctor or an educated expert. If you’re like me and battle Crohn’s and Colitis, please seek advice from your doctors for health and food allergy testing.
Here comes the honesty … I’ve sadly been that chica. You know the one that was posts in gym clothes. Guilty as charged and it totally sucks owning it but it happened which brought me to the position of being well versed and knowing the positives and negatives of those posts first-hand.
I’m not knocking health nor sharing your life, I share a lot. It’s about how you post; what it looks like and how it sounds. It’s not about hiding who you are, it’s about using your social influence to HELP not HURT.
Working out is amazing for your health and YAY if you do it and post it all damn day. But it’s not a positive when you’re using it to make other women feel bad for living in the beautiful skin they already have.
I have a little girl that looks up to every single thing I do. I’m sure you have a girl or woman that looks up to you, too. Show them positive body images that build their hearts, not ones that will torture their minds.
If you’re wondering why I had this “come to Jesus” moment, it’s because the posting of pics from my yoga practice and bikini progress moments made me realize what my insta-daughter was mimicking the behavior so I brought it to an abrupt halt.
Yes, I’m a professional woman and I practice yoga. I am also a Crohn’s & Colitis fighter and a creative person that enjoys giving back to my city and the amazing people that live in it.
Yoga is only a small fraction of my life. It’s for my health and serenity; nothing more, nothing less.
The most important parts of my life revolve around my husband and three amazing insta-kids. They see everything in my life; the good, bad, messy, pretty, sick, strength, and anything / everything else. I have to push forward and strive harder because I know I have them watching.
Just look at her smile as she watched me at our last wedding fitting! How could I ever let that sweet girl down?
Every little girl should be told that she’s intelligent, talented, capable, strong, and beautiful … And in that order. Looks can only serve us on the surface and what happens if it fades? We must educate girls to be prepared for life beyond social media. Our posts are conditioning them whether we realize it or not.
How do make this change?
We have to start small and start with our immediate circle of friends that influence our young girls. Who we put in their life is significant because they’ll idolize those women as well.
We must raise wise girls to become wise women by making them mindful of their social media presence and how their posts will impact their friends, boys, and how these topics can impact them in life.
Can you help me? I realize it’s a lofty request given there’s 7.4 billion human beings on earth but I’ve got goals and I can’t rest easy knowing that some girl, somewhere, is feeling like she’s not worthy of a positive life because she’s “failing” at meeting the unrealistic body and life goals that are perpetuated in the media.
Here’s your chance to make an influence by showing girls and other women that we can cover our bodies with clothing and talk about the positives of a wholehearted healthy life; inside and out. Pictures that only feed our thirsty ego are not going to generate anything of depth. The same goes for posts about better booties, how one challenge group is better than another, and last but not least; the women you have in your tribe aren’t better than any other circle of friends.
Ladies, we gotta love each other and be empathetic to other women and the struggles we all go through. Body, life, health, emotion, and love shaming must stop.
I would love to start by getting through this “bikini season” and then the rest of my life knowing that humanity is going to start to give us “imperfect girls” a break. I’m no longer interested in “how to get a bikini body” because I already have a body and I own a bikini.
Bikini body ready, already.
Thanks in advance for your understanding and support.
With appreciation,
Bella
P.S. Yay, life!
Great read and honestly much needed!