In a post from yesterday I wrote about Tinder and all the reasons why it isn’t a good fit for me. It may be a good fit for you and again, I’ve heard several stories about how people have met their soulmate or that they’ve had great experiences, et cetera. However, I do have a few male friends that have admitted to fibbing about their life or their age or their past or whatever. Sadly deception can be a part of any relationship; people can also do this when you date them off line.
When I first started my eHarmony and Match.com profiles I read through what other people had posted in their bios while I was looking for inspiration or a general idea as to how people describe themselves to perfect strangers while we are on the quest to find our person, our match. A lot of profiles are rather vague, some are full of cliche statements, and others are just thrown together quotes that don’t really help in identifying whether or not this person you’re reading about could be your future partner.
I started writing my bio and came up blank. It’s not that I didn’t know who I was, I just couldn’t tell a stranger who I was without the fear of being judged for being me. We all want to be accepted and so I went to my go-to description from Instagram which is not a true explanation of who I really am.
I finally had an ah-ha moment the other night and realized that I have nothing to be afraid of. If someone (anyone) judges my profile than they are clearly not my match and I shouldn’t give their opinion much stock. I wrote out what I think to be a summarized version of who I am, where I’ve been, who I’m looking for and what I’m hopeful for. Allowing strangers to read these things about me is a completely vulnerable experience because I’m telling them all of these personal insights in the hopes of finding love and being fully open to all of life’s experiences; including online dating.
So here I go …
***** My exact copy is listed below *****
“Values are an interesting topic to open with on a dating site, but they are the most fundamental part of who we really are. With that being said, I value genuine passion and intensity for living an authentic life, love; the ability to give it and receive it, intelligence, education, adventure, and laughter / happiness. I am extremely ambitious and surround myself with people that have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and growth. I am fairly intense about the things I love but I am also very fun loving and laugh way more than I should. Life is too short to be negative, so I want to find someone that can match me in positivity, conversations, desire for new experiences, adventures, traveling, attending concerts and / or lectures, and being 100% open to love and life.
I love trying new things and marking random desires off of my bucket list. I enjoy spending time with my friends, being outdoors, fitness, meditation, music, cooking, and writing. I do spend majority of my time working for the company I started in 2010. I am also a freelance writer, blogger, and volunteer on a regular basis.
I am a workaholic but a playaholic as well. I love traveling and try to include it in any plans for my future. My favorite trips have been to New York City, Chicago, Italy, Germany, Mexico and every city I’ve been to in California. I live in Louisville and want to grow old here but I want to experience all that I can, so if that includes moving to another city in my future, I’ll be open it. I live by the mentality to live in the present, not yesterday or tomorrow. Life only gives us one shot so if we meet the right person with the right chemistry we should try to see it through or else we’ll never know if that person was our soulmate and slipped away.
My “headline” comes from SATC, “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.” I used it because I am not your typical southern woman. I don’t have a check-list of traditional 1950’s era dreams and aspirations. I want to get married and have a partner, but I want it to be the right man that will respect and include my dreams while I do the same for them.
I have been in serious relationships throughout most of my adult life so being single in my 30’s wasn’t what I planned for but it is exactly where I am supposed to be to meet the person that is my true match. My match will be able to “run” beside me through this crazy journey we call life, be my best friend throughout our adventures, and hopefully be by my side when I’m old and gray to be my partner till the end. Intense, I know. We’ll see how many messages I get for being honest. Cheers!”