Dear Broken Heart,
Well, well, well. Here we are. Going through one of the worst ongoing nightmare/horror story/traumatizing life events called heartbreak. Let’s dive right in and talk about the heart-sinking, breathtaking, agonizing feelings you’re going through so we can start to fix you.
Heartache, ouch! It hurts and sucks but has to happen. Feeling heartbroken is a horrific little consequence we have in life for loving other people. But before we get carried away by the thought that maybe we shouldn’t love so we can be exempt of this feeling, take a huge step back and realize that it’s worth it. Love your heart out but never forget that it can and will be broken at least a few times.
Since I’m a hopeless romantic it makes me an expert at this whole heartache thing, so I’ll explain the times the pain is at it’s worst and how you can glue your heart back together again so you can love again.
1. The moment in bed before you drift away to Neverland.
As your mind races in bed (where you are laying down all by your lonesome), your mind will wander down memory lane to all of the good times which will keep you focused on all the sweet stuff instead of allowing you to do what you need to do … You need to go to sleep!
The shoulda/coulda/woulda’s and nostalgia can and will consume your mind and complicate your feelings about where you are and how you feel about what is real. The heartache is real but you must power through and catch your beauty zzz’s.
2. When you awake to reality.
When you first open your eyes in the morning and you’re unsure about what is real and not a dream before you remember can be so tough. You remember that you hate your current existence. It can be miserable — even nauseating — but the worst, most selfish part is that it allows us to forget that we are blessed to be alive.
3. The entire day ahead of you.
With every step, you can be reminded of that person, even if there’s no connection whatsoever to that exact moment. You can and will find a way to tie where you are (physically or emotionally) to the relationship you’re mourning. Sounds brutal, doesn’t it? It sounds that way because it is pure brutality.
Unfortunately, it will never really end. It’s an emotion that you can’t define but it lingers in your stomach and heart and makes you want to puke everywhere but don’t. No really, don’t puke, don’t focus on the feelings or you will make yourself sick. Again, I’m a pro at this so it means I’ve gone through this very symptom. Your mind is a very powerful thing and can truly make your body sick.
Try to keep yourself busy to forget the pain and allow happiness to flow inside your heart. Dwell in the happy parts of your life. Depression can overpower your happiness if you let it, so don’t! Don’t let your body push away happiness, make happiness your comfort zone, not sadness.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever feel normal again but that light will manifest with time and a lot of positive thoughts and affirmations. As one of my dear friends said to me, “You will be fine. You will be fine. You will be fine.” Repeat it to yourself, pray it, breathe it, and believe it.
Instead of focusing on the sadness, think about yourself positively instead. Remember that you’re beautiful, fun, exciting, spontaneous, intelligent and deserve to love someone that will love you the way you deserve. *And someone that will celebrate you.
Stay busy by doing yoga, walking around the city, working, meeting new people and hanging out with family and friends. Surround yourself with love and the possibilities of the future.
Do NOT put any life goals or plans on hold. It is okay to feel sad, cry, and be heartbroken … Just don’t stay in that place. Allow yourself to wake up to a brand new you. You probably won’t fully forget that person but you will finally realize that they represent a life lesson.
Let’s break the glue out of your drawer and start putting the pieces together again so you can be happy again. When your glue is setting into place get out of your home so you can laugh, have new experiences, try new restaurants, dance, sing, and LOVE.
Take back the freedom for your soul. Take back your happiness. You only live once, so remember that while you may be completely infatuated with someone whom you may think is the one for you, be flexible to the reality of your thoughts and the situation.
You’re better than someone who stays in a negative situation because it’s comfortable. Wake up and go fight your fight in the battlefield of love.
Put on your favorite shoes, your best red lipstick and keep your chin up. It gets better. It always does.
Your Un-Heartbroken Self