Oh, the amount of topics that this could cover and get deep into the dark/scary web of any relationship is applicable.
But instead of telling you all the dirty deets of my life, I’ll offer you a funny wedding day story and I’ll leave out the name of the person(s) in the story just to give you a good giggle realizing that the factors of any day, big or small, are just that… factors that you don’t have to give power unless you wish to do so.
Take my wedding day, or yours, and think about how stressful some of the elements that could drive a perfectionist crazy and amplify it with other dramas that you can’t control like people, weather, or things.
In the midst of one of my most stressful days, wanting others to have the best day ever and add an uninvited guest and their random texts to make you feel guilty for not inviting them:
“I really wanted to come, but (xyz child) won’t go to sleep without me (there goes any social life) and xyz husband can’t leave “his xyz job” yet :( boo! Have an amazing day and cherish every moment! My wedding day was the best day of my life! So excited for you!”
Hmmmm… the ways to respond to someone you didn’t invite are endless. I wish I could turn back time and just say, “It’s my wedding day.”
No meanness or spiteful response, instead just one that would allow them to reflect upon their intentions to me since I can’t make them respect a normal boundary on “the best day of my life.”
It’s one of several things I wish could re-do from my wedding day but since I can’t change the past, I can say that I wish I had taken my gut reaction and feelings more into play and blocked people from entering my mind, heart, or spirit on a day that should have been “the best day of my life!” But I’m not a time traveler so this luxury isn’t available.
If I could give you any advice on a happy marriage it would be to learn accept the thing you can’t change that have already happened.
It’s the most powerful mindset to let go of the past and what once was because it is what it is and your job as a human is to move forward hoping you learned something valuable from it and that you’ll be a better person because of it and that better person will be the champion of your life and any love you have; including your own towards yourself.
If you don’t love you and accept your flaws and differences, no one else on earth will love you as you deserve.
A wedding is an event. It’s a tangible thing that others will reference as your best day but the honest truth is that the best day of your life is when you’re busy living it and accepting moments as they are so you can live presently and wholeheartedly.
It’s not a glamorous day.
It’s not the sexiest day.
It’s not the happiest day.
It’s right now.
Go love and love hard as today could be your last day to make your marriage or life the best day it’s ever had.