When I was a little girl my mother would tuck me in every single night. It was routine, she’d kiss me on my head, tell me how much she loved me, and to dream sweet dreams. I can recall the memories in a flash as if it were just yesterday. I remember looking out the window next to my bed, cuddling up with as many stuffed animals as I could, and then I’d drift off to sleep.
In hindsight, I’m not sure if I ever asked her what sweet dreams were in comparison to dreams and I don’t plan on ever asking because I believe I already know.
Dreams are beautiful as far as majority of the themes of quotes you’ll read online when searching for definitions, insights, and a million other random topics that will get pulled up at the within the numerous pages Google gives you to click through as you are looking for meaning.
Meaning to your dream? Sure, why not? Meaning to your life? Sure, why not?
If we’re always searching for input from quotes, books, Google, person to person, walking in the park, praying, writing, posting on social media, and so on, when is running enough? Our minds run, our bodies will run, and our time runs.
I can’t help but wonder; when do we stop running?
When can we dream sweet dreams and just let them be?
The answer will vary from person to person but the answers lie within and it isn’t one you need to read about or search for it’s already there if you’re brave enough to look. I’ll keep it all the way real and say that I’ve been wrestling with my own peace of mind about my health.
It’s not one that I need pity for so I don’t write that to ask you for anything, simple transparency for a reality check to let you know I’m not a fake happy person. I’m a real happy person. I’m good 95% of the time but that 5% exists. I would be perpetrating if I said anything less or more. But even if it’s a rough 5% I know I’m sitting pretty even though that time is usually spent alone or in a doctor’s office.
When I’m there I usually make light of my symptoms or the tests that I have. I tell the doctors that “I like to party and by party I mean hang out with them.” or it’s about the prep or the tests I have to have; which is where I draw that invisible line and leave the rest where it belongs, off the blog.
Do I post about happy topics when I’m living in that small percentage phase? You bet your bottom dollar I do.
Why in the world would I post about resenting my disease when I’m hoping and working on living a sweet life? There’s no point. Negativity would drum up a lot of anger in myself and transfer that to anyone that takes the time to read my blog.
Scary to think but it’s true.
Our words impact others; whether it’s read or heard, it’s not what I want the world to be like so I won’t perpetuate that in my life nor the echo it pushes back out for absorption.
So instead, I’m going to find the inner peace and know the answers that I’ve searched for via Google, asked my husband, my parents, and friends. Nothing will fill my appetite for knowledge more than the answers I already have.
Life is what we make it and I believe that is the meaning of life.
Life is about taking the one we have and living it to the best of our abilities with believe in whatever higher power you believe in. All the while trying to create positive relationships with people that love deeply and share similar philosophies. Interestingly enough it doesn’t stop there because life has much more depth.
Our meaning has to give back something every single day we’re gifted with breath in our lungs and a pulse throbbing blood into our veins. That gift makes our duty one that outlives us; it’s our legacy to love, be of service, live mindfully, enjoy our existence, and make sure that our time here wasn’t a vain visitation to use resources. Quite the opposite, it’s to be a resource to leave it better than we found it.
Dreams can be good, bad, farfetched, realistic, symbolic of the past, profound for the future, weird, funny, trippy, and more. But such is life. Take all of those words and apply them to your life and dreams. I’m sure there is at least one comparison for each word and possibly several for others.
Good parents do that through their children.
Parents want us to live a happy life where we’re unharmed by anything that can cause us pain. They have a great trust to universe as they release their kids out into the world to explore everything they desire and with the hopes that the kids will live out their dreams and come home unscathed.
The reality is different. Not every dream is good nor takes us down our best paths but it’s called hard-knocks for a reason. We’re meant to have good and bad experiences to dream sweet dreams with hope that we can curate a space for peace in our heart and mind.
If you’re not at peace you will eventually have to look within and do what is best for you without causing a stressful disruption for anyone you hold dear; including yourself. Change is only difficult when met with resistance so let it go; the drama, the fear, or the hurt. Just take a deep breath or twenty and proceed.
Speaking of deep breaths, I must stop writing for it could and probably will wake up my guy because this is clearly a rather late post but I couldn’t sleep. Selfishly, I’ve felt restless all day with mental clutter about treatment tomorrow, testing I’m trying to going to schedule at a few specialty clinics away from Louisville, and the dread of more new medications to come.
Since I can’t run away from my health, I ran my fingers across the keys to my laptop to remind myself with each keystroke that I already know the answers. Everything will be great as long as I keep my focus on sweet thoughts and believe in the power of sweet dreams.
Good night. xo