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Quality + Quantity Make Life Worth Living

Life | 01.15.18

Time keeps on slipping into the future and if you don’t look around at who you surround yourself with, you can get lost into a toxic time warp that no one can survive. How do I know? I found myself in one a few years ago and I didn’t know I was lost until I found myself in a place I didn’t recognize so I literally cleaned my relationship house and made a swear to myself that I wouldn’t be so naive ever again. Not because I didn’t love the people in some capacity but because I chose to love myself more instead of chasing a love that didn’t exist.

Did I love them? Yes.
Did they love me? No.
Did it take losing myself to find out? Yes.
Do I regret it? Nope. It made me stronger.

Slipping through collected days, weeks, months, and years to the land of strong women that build others up, instead of faux relationships to sell products or a farce lifestyle. I can’t believe I made it to where I am and how much I’ve healed over time.

This new world is full of women who work, volunteer, parent, practice being healthy, and love the hell out of their friends and treat those friends like they actually matter through the major incidents in life. If you don’t have a solid crew, you’re going to feel incredibly lonely in life.

As I left that phase and entered into my life today, one wonderful woman entered in my life and has been a silent force in so many things I do today; her name is Anna May.

In the midst of the toxic time warp that I found myself in, I was also very new into my married life; around one month and I reached out to Anna to do a shoot with me to capture some images of myself in the era to give to my guy.

I went into the shoot with zero confidence. I felt shaken to the core of everything I just went through. Pain is pain and when you let someone into your life and they make you feel as though you’re unworthy, it can destroy your heart and mind when you realize it wasn’t real.

If you take a photograph of someone when they’re going through a difficult time, know that they’re going to feel stripped down as if they were completely naked and you’re their unforgiving mirror. I couldn’t see past my own eyeballs to know that I was the same person I was before that era, I needed to go through it because it was a lesson I had to learn.

Even typing this for you to read makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and naked to expose the things that have hurt me most but the beautiful part is that I’ve moved past it.

Being vulnerable to another human and allowing them to connect with you and live in that space with you, even if it’s just for a moment, the bond that you share with them can never be broken. I never knew this to be more true till my working relationship with Anna turned into a friendship over the last two years of collaborating with one another each month.

Through her life battles and mine, we’ve identified with one another, built each other up, and have relied upon one another for the conversations that we really can’t say to another person but for some reason can say to one another.

It stems from trust.

Trust has been built from the quantity of time that we’ve shared and the quality of those moments; for both aspects are mandatory to live wholeheartedly. Quantity of time with the wrong person is a death sentence because it’s missing the quality aspect that makes you thrive and ultimately gives you the best and healthiest existence in this very short life we live.

Anna has encouraged me to love the leather I live in as she’s complimentary of not only my current body status but to me to accept and love where I am.

Making someone feel confident is one of the most magical gifts we can give. She’s made me feel like it’s okay for me to grow and she’s helped me express the evolution that’s occurred within me throughout the course of the last 24 months.

Qualitatively impacting the quantitive days we’ve known one another has shown me that life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to be vulnerable enough to show others your flaws and scars because those things you found ugly or shameful, will change with the right kind of support.

I pray my impact upon another is even half as measurable for that would be the ultimate legacy for me to leave behind.

Now pass me the tissues… I have a life to conquer!

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I’m a 30-something Louisville dweller and aficionado. As you browse around please note that you’re in the sanctuary of the space I call home where my writing is about life, love, and the city of Louisville. I’m honored to have you here. Thank you for visiting my space.

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✨ 𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑒 ✨ Compared to ✨ 𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑒 ✨ Compared to other years, 40 posts in 2020 is scarcity at its finest when compared to other years of me posting almost every day. The time away has allowed me to get through one of the darkest years, so many of us have faced. While I’ve historically turned to my keyboard as a release of hardships, I’ve been unusually reclusive as I’ve focused on a silent health challenge, family, friends, work, and school as a guiding light. ✨ 2020 was a year I never really wanted, but I learned much about myself and tapped on inner strength to push through. ✨ Therefore I must be grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. 🙏 2021, please be kind. The world and I need it. #thankunext #surviveandthrive #ciao2020 #topnine
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• 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 • Today I choose to show up as the best “me” I can be, much like how the ocean shows us how to be. ☀️ The empowered me that battles my autoimmune diseases with radical approaches to heal all within me. 💪 The confident me. The me that handles both anything and everything the world tosses at me. 🌎 The me that faces the world with eyes of possibility, creativity, and solution. 🤩 The me with a heart full of hope and a head full of beautiful dreams. 🥰 The me that floods others with kindness and love. 🌊 The me that knows my strength is my best asset because it paves the way for all of my dreams, much like a powerful currant like the waters can be. 💛 The me that knows it will be okay. Because this life is much like water, it never stays the same as it ebbs and flows. It’s a mystical cycle that reminds us how small we are compared to the big picture of this journey called life. 🤗 How refreshing is that ocean breeze. • 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒹 • #writersofinstagram #wanderer #transformationtuesday #bellaoflouisville ✨
{ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀-𝒾𝓃 } It’s my birthday week, and while there is so much happening in our world that impacts each of us in a multitude of ways, there is still so much I’m grateful for. • I have a loving husband, kids, mom, extended family, and my fur babies. • I’m in remission with my autoimmune diseases. While I still have bad days, the good ones overshadow them. • I’m growing my career with education to continue chasing my dreams. • I have a loving roof over my head, cozy clothes on my back, and inner peace about things I cannot control. • It might not sound like much, but for me, life has given me more than I’ve ever prayed for. • I’ve “socially distanced” myself IRL and digitally with COVID to focus on family and my faith. I’m re-emerging into the world with a renewed sense of contentment and optimism. I’m ready to shed the 37-year-old shell to joyfully leap into 38 with all the hope I can muster. ✨ Cheers to this wild journey we call life! 🥃 #anotheryearwiser #cheers #celebrateeveryday
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Happy birthday, Ra-Ra! ✨ I felt the need to writ Happy birthday, Ra-Ra! ✨ I felt the need to write a strong caption, but how can I describe you or our friendship in a caption? I can’t. So much comes into my mind when I think of the growth we've both shared, witnessed, and supported. The world may keep us distanced, but you are in my mind and heart every day. LOVES YOU! 🎂🥂✨ #shewild #shefine #hurras
✨ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝑒𝒹 ✨ Thank you, @whitneyharding_ for the kind reminder of the strength I have within me to persevere through the next few weeks of treatments. 💛 This challenge couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you. I miss you and love you so! ✨ #challengeaccepted #autoimmunewarrior #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen
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