“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.” Famous quote from the ultimate single girl that ended up getting married; Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and The City.
If you recall my writing for Louisville.com I wrote an online dating piece about the horrors and hope that the experiences gave me. At that time I believed that maybe I wasn’t the “marrying kind” even though I wanted to find the love of my life and run off into the sunset with them letting love guide the way.
Well, it turned out that I was the “marrying kind” after all. I married a man that makes me feel safe. Not in the capacity of a fairy tale belief of him wearing armor and fighting dragons instead he wears everyday clothing and only battles metaphorical dragons that came as the representation of Crohn’s, life problems, and the overall magically beautiful chaos that life is for all of us.
And it also turns out that we are both wild. Well, maybe I’m wilder than he is but he appreciates it nonetheless and loves me for it all together.
Together with this real-life nonfiction love, our quote is more of the modern day quote that floats around on inspirational Instagram pages:
“You keep me safe; I’ll keep you wild.”
I’m not sure who said the quote but it appeals to the rebel in me. Sure I seem like a bubbly broad with all things glitter in my life at all moments of every single day but it isn’t the case. I’m a real person that battles the same things a great majority of us battle every single day. We have distractions, illnesses, loves, heartbreaks, hopes, et cetera. So don’t be so fast to judge a book by its cover.
My wild spirit has been contained over the last three years as I’ve battled Crohn’s and Colitis. But my mind is just as wild as it was before I had my horrible flare. It’s my body that can’t keep up with my schedule and aspirations at moments.
While my guy can keep me safe from much, he can’t protect me from all things’ especially, my disease. So I have to be hyper vigilant about what impacts my health, my state of being, and what I consume, in all capacities.
Much like Cat Stevens sang in his 1971 hit, “Oh, baby, baby it’s a wild world.” And this baby knows how to fend for herself; whether it’s the extreme lows of my illness or the unreal side effects that come from my attempts to heal my body.
I’m working on the healing part and I feel exceptionally hopeful that my upcoming appointment with the Cleveland Clinic will bring a new plan of care with less medications.
If you follow me on Instagram you’ve seen that I started Humira last week. I’m always excited to try something new and the hopes that I will get better but the major side effect from this drug is skin cancer. As a Vitamin D loving sun baby, this was depressing. I’m trading stomach issues for skin cancer. The trade doesn’t feel mutually beneficial.
Rather than moan and cry about it, I’m being proactive in this “Wild World” and wearing sunblock to protect myself since this is one of the times my guy can’t keep me safe no one can. I have to take the lead and be my own savior wearing my own armor known as SPF.